Rupture and repair

This practice helps you reflect on conflict with compassion and open the door to repair.

1. Settle In

Sit comfortably.
Take a few slow, deep breaths.
Let your body soften and arrive in the present moment.

2. Recall a Conflict

Bring to mind a recent conflict with your child where you were not satisfied with your reaction.
Gently recall:

• What happened?
• What was said or not said?
• What did you feel in your body?
• What thoughts were present?

Notice any needs or pressures you may have been carrying.
Offer yourself compassion for being human.
Allow any feelings — sadness, anger, fear, regret — to be there.

3. Pause and Regulate

Take three slow, full breaths.
Feel your whole body.
With each exhale, let a little tension soften.

4. Shift Perspective

Now imagine the situation from your child’s point of view.
Ask yourself:

• What might they have felt?
• What might they have needed?
• What might they have been trying to express?

Allow their emotions to be valid, even if the behavior was difficult.
Meet their experience with understanding.

5. Move Toward Repair

With compassion for both of you, ask yourself:

• What would I like to say now?
• Is an apology needed?
• Is there something to clarify or express differently?

Imagine speaking with honesty and warmth.
Notice how this feels for you — and for your child.

6. Close Gently

Let the scene fade.
Return to your breath and body.
Rest for a moment before continuing your day.